Fantastic Post about Living with Children

If you read this blog much, you may notice that I tend to rant about the perception of single people and DINKS (double-income-no-kids) couples about the reality, financial or otherwise, of living with children. It is rare that I find a post I think is really great; there was a fairly decent guest post on Get Rich Slowly called How To Prepare For A Baby Without Going Broke. There were some simple things to do, like buying used baby clothes and furniture, and borrowing from friends. It also advised breastfeeding (I breastfed both my kids and it is considerably cheaper, even with the purchase of a $250 breast pump). It recommends cloth diapering, although most cost calculators find that people tend to break even once washing (hot water is a must for a load of diapers) and the cost of the cloth diapers and diaper covers is included. We ran those calculations ourselves, and finally switched to disposables after a few months of torture, because water is at such a premium in the southwest.

What tends to bother me is the "pollyanna" attitude so many people take; the reality is that even a used crib (I was recently shopping for one for a refugee family here in Tucson) runs $75-$100. That doesn't include a mattress ($50 and up) or blankets and sheets. So even someone who buys used can expect to spend $175-$200 for a crib, and parents must be careful not to get an older crib because they can be dangerous, even fatal, for infants (their little bodies slip through the slats, which are made too big, their heads get caught and they can hang themselves). So yes, buying used can save you money, so long as you are very careful, and watch the recalls and safety issues related to used goods.

Parenting, really, is an issue of preparation; if you know what's coming, you can be ready. The most important thing to do is to be stable financially before you even get pregnant. Someone who has at least a year at the same job, very little debt and is done with school is in the best state, financially, to handle pregnancy and children without incurring bankruptcy or undue stress. That doesn't make parenting perfect -- it just makes it easier.

However, when I read this post called 25 Ways to Simplify Your Life with Kids, for the first time in a long time I felt someone "got" what it meant to parent.

Anyone who has kids knows that any life with kids is going to be complicated, at least to some degree. From extra laundry to bathing and cooking and shopping and driving and school and chores and crises and sports and dance and toys and tantrums, there is no shortage of complications.

You won’t get to ultra-simple if your life includes children … but you can find ways to simplify, no matter how many kids you have.

Take my life, for example: I have a house full of kids, and yet I’ve found ways to streamline my life, to find peace and happiness among the chaos. How is this magic trick accomplished? Nothing magical, actually, but just little things that have simplified my life over the years.

The main magic trick, however: making my family my top priority, and choosing only a small number of priorities in my life. If you have too many things you want to do, or need to do, your life will become complicated. But if you choose just a few things that are important to you, you can eliminate the rest, and simplify your life greatly.

The author goes on to list some really wonderful ways to enjoy your life as a parent, and these things also reduce costs over time. For example, cooking and cleaning with your kids reduces your tendency to eat out (or hire a housekeeper) and also provides learning time for the kids. Not over-scheduling also means not spending extra money on "activities" that may or may not be useful (a friend confessed that she spent $250 for a 6-week kinder-music course -- ouch!). My favorite tip, though, is the last one -- "Focus on Doing, not Spending." Not only do you save money this way, it also communicates something to your kids -- that love isn't about dollars.

And that, to me, just makes sense. Thanks to Zen Habits for the best post about families I've seen in a long time.

$4000 more on our credit cards

We got our tax refund back, and that combined with a little extra went towards paying off another credit card. We have a little more money coming and should be able to put another $2K on the credit cards next month, so I am very happy with our debt reduction. Since we are working against a deadline in May -- we'll lose $750/month in income then -- I'm hoping to have our credit card debt down to "manageable" if not "gone." We will just have one card with a balance after this week. I will adjust the bars to the left so everyone can see our progress.

We went ahead and spent $250 of our refund on a new iTouch for my husband; he's been collecting gift cards since last fall, and had over a third saved that way. Since he's been diligently saving in a savings account, and because we've been paying things off steadily, we agreed to make this purchase. He's a tech-head and has used his iPod of 3 years ago nearly every day and it's getting pretty old and delicate (when I set it down, it turns itself on, etc.). Plus, it means a lot to him. It's important to me to pay off the debt, but it's also important to let him have some cool stuff every now and then. I can hardly get him out of holey t-shirts and khaki shorts from the used clothing store, so it isn't as if he is a spendthrift in other ways.

I'm bringing in $400/month now babysitting and this month we'll pull in around $250 for the guesthouse, so that income is relatively steady. I'd like the guesthouse to be rented out more, but I'm giving it some time. I may start looking for more advertising venues; so far I've limited myself to "free," but I may be able to find some really low-cost things to do as well. I'm considering buying a domain and building a website for it also -- maybe a good project for summer, which is off-season here.

It's amazing how much cutting our monthly expenses -- $40 here, $60 there -- really helps. I don't feel nearly as stretched financially as I was just last fall, and we had more money coming in every month then.

We sold the car! $1500 more towards paying off our credit card

We finally sold the Volvo wagon yesterday, after a harrowing two days of last-minute fixes. I cracked the valve cover trying to change the valve cover gasket (gasket = .01 pounds of rubber and cardboard, valve cover = 2 lbs of metal). Luckily I found a used one, flirted with the guy at the counter and he gave me the cover for $10 instead of the $45 quoted price. Sometimes it pays to be a female who fixes cars... (not usually, though, just for the record).

So, we got $2100 for the car, and I used most of the money to pay off bills, although we've earmarked $150 for a good tune-up on our remaining car, and we are putting $1500 on credit cards.

Debt snowball, here we come!