Re: Kids Do Cost

Recently Boston Gal blogged about the cost of having a child, and there were a lot of comments, particularly about the reality of expenses. Some said $30K a year; others said $20/month. I think both are kind of a stretch, at least in my opinion.

It is hard to pin down the expense of having a child, because there are those who think that Baby Gap and matching furniture is an absolute necessity, while others get by on hand-me-downs and yard sale furniture. However, there are a few real expenses that do crop up. My husband and I were taken by surprise after our son was born; I had driven a Ford Festiva for years and suddenly we realized that a) It wasn't safe, b) It was hell getting a car seat in and out of it, and c) It rode so bumpy he cried the entire time whenever we went anywhere and made us both crazy. So, a new car had to happen, to the tune of about $10,000. With the new car came triple the cost of insurance. Oh, and maintenance costs changed: we paid $110 for four new tires on the Festiva, but the cost of one new tire for our new compact was $60-80, more than doubling the price. The cost of registration for the car went up by 1000%, and I'm not kidding. And that was just the car.

Here are some other numbers:
Daycare for Tucson (1 child): $350-700 a month, $650/month minimum for an infant.
Daycare in a metropolitan area (Washington DC) for one infant: $1400 a month.
Car seat: $50-350, and usually multiple versions must be bought as the child grows.
Crib: $175-? as much as you want to spend, to buy new.
Changing Table: varies, usually $50-$100. We got a $250 dresser with a top that converted to a changing table, killing two birds with one stone.

Bassinet: $50 and up, with moses baskets the cheapest at $50 exactly.

This brings up an issue: this time around (2nd kid) we bought a mini co-sleeper ($125) and a crib that fully converts into a toddler bed and then a regular bed ($325). We kept the mattress from our first child's toddler bed to use, but new mattresses are about $40 and up. The reason we did this is that we wasted a lot of money and time trying not to buy a crib for our 1st child and really didn't save much of anything. Here's what we bought: moses basket, $50; full-size co-sleeper (that eventually was broken), $225; extremely on-sale toddler bed, $50 + $60 mattress (also broke over time); twin bed, used, $100 (we got the mattress for free from a relative). Total: $485 and a lot of broken or worthless furniture, versus $550 for some beautifully made new furniture. We spent the extra $65 to save the headache. Okay, back to expenses.

Diapers and formula: $75-100/month. If you breast feed, it's free, but if you breast feed and want to work it's $250 for a double electric pump (I have to have one, as I don't have the leisure time to spend 45 minutes pumping at work) and $5 for a box of breastmilk bags. I go through about one box every two months. If you breastfeed for more than 6 months you break even.
Clothes: $40/month minimum unless you get a lot of gifts.

Total minimum cost for the first six months of a child's life: $1005 without daycare, $4905 with daycare. I didn't include things like blankets or a diaper pail, as we got a ton of free blankets from the hospital and you can always just tie the diaper in a plastic bag and throw it in the garbage. This is a very conservative estimate. In reality, my husband and I saved $5000 for my son's birth in 2002, and we spent all of it within 3 months. I tried to be very frugal, but the cost of a first child is high. I will say that it wasn't so bad for my second child, because we had everything. I am not embarrassed to dress her in her big brother's blue outfits either; it's ridiculous to not use perfectly good clothing because it's blue.

There was much discussion in the post about this article -- 6 ways to be grown-up about debt -- because the couple was going to spend $500 on a birthday party. Is $500 excessive? Yes, it is. But it is not unusual. I have been to a birthday party where the child had so many gifts, he actually got bored opening them. Now that is a family that is not spending the $167.50 a month I just discussed -- or even the frugal amount of $817.50 a month for a child in daycare -- but yes, it is pretty common. A lot of people work long hours away from their children, and the equation seems to go like this: number of hours away x guilt = extravagant gifts. My husband and I do a lot of trading to keep daycare costs down (see below -- they are still more than my mortgage) and have our children in care a mere 20 hours a week (full-time is actually 50 hours a week -- imagine driving time, fighting traffic, dropping off before work, etc.), so I don't have any qualms about calmly telling my child "no" when s/he wants a new something. And this year, my son is getting hand-me-down (but very nice!) wooden toys for his birthday, plus a Chuck-e-Cheese party (he's been asking for a year, after all). I still expect to spend about $150.

Am I spoiling him? I really don't think so. Last year we spent $75 and provided his class with cupcakes and some party favors. It's just the cost of having a party, period. And while I love being frugal, some things are just worth the money.

Anyway, that's my two cents on the cost of having a child. What about you? How much did you spend? How did you cut corners and save money? I'd like to know.